Week 5

First of all, I'm sorry for the delay in my updates! I've been extremely busy lately, and I just haven't gotten the chance to update on my Buddy Ball experience from August 5th.

When I 1st got to Buddy Ball, I walked in and went to the sign in table, where I had a nice conversation with Ellis, the President of Buddy Ball. He teased me about coming back even after getting soaked last week, and we made small talk. It was nice, as I had never really gotten the chance to talk with him a lot before.

After signing in, I did my usual routine of lurking around the bowling lane and waiting for anyone I may recognize. After a bit, nobody I had previously worked with had showed. However, I had been lurking near one particular lane, and when their lane broke, I followed them to their new lane, where I asked if anyone needed a Buddy.

One of the men, a sweet guy with a South African accent, turned to his ADORABLE son and said, "David, do you want a Buddy tonight?" The boy's face lit up and he shouted, "I NEVER have a Buddy!!! Yes!!!!!!!" Unlike the other parents and children I've worked with, David's dad never felt the need to tell me right away what David was diagnosed with or how severe of a case he was. I thought that was pretty special because it made me feel as if David's father recognized him as just his child, not his child with special needs. I think that's pretty special.

David and I bonded over his love for the Cars movie, Lightning McQueenie, Spongebob, and vegetables. I love this kid-- he got completely animated telling me about his favorite vegetables, and he even told me his favorite recipe for stuffed tomatoes. ("First you cut the insides out. You can eat that. Then you scoop (certain type of) cheese into it. And then you add sprinkles, hahaha! No, spices. It's reeeeally yummy. You should eat it for dinner!") Then David asked me what my favorite color was, and I said green. He looked disappointed so I asked him what his was. He whispered, "I REALLY like pink, but that's a girl color." That openned up a debate between us on how there really is no boy or girl colors, and how it's perfectly okay for him to like pink. <3

David's Dad's big thing was he wanted David to work on his communication skills, so whenever David would talk to me, his father would say, "Are you looking Kailynn in the eye? How does she know you're talking to her?" Then he would ask David if he had any questions for me, and David would ask me questions about my favorite sports, animals, foods, etc etc. David couldn't comprehend why I would graduate from high school and go to a different school, college, if it meant that I could no longer play my favorite sport, volleyball. It was cute. The whole concept of high school annoyed him.

David was a thrower, meaning that he would whip the bowling ball down the lane in order to bowl. This is actually really common at Buddy Bowling, many of the bowlers whip and throw the bowling ball, so you have to have an open eye for any flying bowling balls! I asked David at one point if he had any other questions for me, and he asked, "How do you bowl??" So, I showed him the Granny bowling method. I explained it like you explain fire safety: Stop, drop, and roll. He loved my bowling method, so whenever we were up, he'd grab my hand, choose the red or orange ball (Red always for his 1st turn, orange for his 2nd), and then we'd run up to the lane, where he'd laugh hysterically "Stop! Drop! Roll! CRASH!" (David loves the "CRASH!" sound; it was his favorite part of bowling, and his favorite part of his favorite movies.) We also bonded over his love for strawberry swirl icecream. <3

All in all, it was a great evening! At one point, I had been checking my phone, and David asked if it had a camera. (Kids today-- they don't know a time before camera phones!!!) I said yes, and he said, "Take a serious picture of me!" He posed seriously, and I snapped a pic. He's such a cutie, definitely my favorite 7 year old.

At the end of the night, Nancy, one of the organizers, came over to tell us that Buddy Ball will be extended until August 26th due to it being cancelled last week. Apparently there will be a pizza and icecream party that night, and trophies will be given to every bowler. David got really excited and said to me, "Kailynn!!!! They have pizza AND icecream. Maybe it will be strawberry swirl! You like both, right? We're going to have fun!!" It broke my heart to have to tell him that I can't make the party, that I'll be back at school by then. He got sad and said to me, "You don't go to school at night!!" I felt really bad. Then I changed the subject and asked if he'd bowl with me next week since it'll be my last week, and he got a huge grin on his face. He gave me a ginormous hug goodbye, and his dad shook my hand, thanking me for being his son's buddy.

That's the funny thing about Buddy Ball-- everyone keeps thanking me for helping them, but they're the ones I'm thankful for. My life has definitely changed for the better this summer, and I'm really sad Buddy Ball has to end so soon. I love my life.


This is the "serious" pose. <3 Swoon. I fall in love with a new little boy each week...

Week 4

(There is no real update)

Due to torrential floods and monsoon-like weather in central NJ, Buddy Ball was cancelled, mainly because the bowling alley was flooded! :(

Of course, I didn't know this until I basically swam to the alley, but the kids who were there enjoyed my Little Mermaid Umbrella meant for 3 year olds. (It was the only umbrella I had in the car!)

Ah, well, better luck next week...

Week 3

Well, I'm a day behind in my updates on this blog, but things were a bit tiresome/crazy last night and today.

After a long day at a museum with my Grandma, I came home, napped for 20 minutes, and took off for Buddy Ball, much to the shock of my family. I guess they still don't realize how serious I am about this; my mom has even said she doesn't see me doing this next year "when I have a job," and my siblings are still cracking jokes about me and my buddies. :( Oh well.

I got to the bowling alley, and as usual, the air conditioner was broken. I'm beginning to suspect that it will only work the last week of bowling!! I signed in, and moseyed around to the other side of the alley, where all the kids were gathered. I'm not sure what I was expecting to see, maybe Ethan, but once again, he wasn't there. I ran into Tito, his mom, and his brother, and Tito gave me a big smile before running back with his mom. While I had fun with Tito and Raina last week, I still kind of wanted to buddy up with someone who needed a Buddy like Ethan or Bobby had! I went back to the sign in table and asked Ada (the organizer) if there were any kids without Buddies, and she walked with me as we checked one by one. No, no, no, no.

I was getting kind of disappointed, and I could tell Ada was feeling a bit disappointed too. Then, out of nowhere, I saw Bobby, the 8 year old Autistic bowling god from 2 weeks ago!!! I quickly asked if Bobby needed a Buddy, and his mom lit up. "Sure!! If you don't have anyone yet, that'd be great!!" Ada smiled at her response, and I walked away with Bobby and his mom, Jody. As Bobby was running ahead with his MGM logo (remember, he has an obsession with movie logos), Jody nervously turned to me and said, "He's really cranky today, and he just can't seem to shake it, I'm not sure why. If you don't want to be his Buddy, I understand." I smiled and told her it would be no problem, and I understood, everyone has off days.

Boy, was he having an off day.

The poor boy was upset, he couldn't stop whining and muttering words I couldn't understand. He didn't bowl his usual spare/strike combo that night, but he got a lot of 7's, 8's, and 9's. By the end of the 1st game, he was complaining he wanted to be done. Jake, the other Autistic boy we were bowling with, got upset when he heard this and, with the sweetest grin on his face, said, "Bobby, you're my FRIEND! We have ONE MORE GAME! YOU can WIN this time!!" This caught Bobby's attention, and he kept muttering "one more game" over and over. By the 3rd frame, not only did I have Jake giggling and high-fiving me, but I had Bobby holding my hand every time it was his turn, and having me hold his MGM logo. NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, except his Mom is allowed to hold his MGM. To me, that was the highest point of the night. Bobby kept highfiving me throughout the night, and between his highfives and Jake's highfives, I was smiling at my boys the entire night.

At one point during the evening, when I got Bobby to laugh with me, Scott, Jake's dad, turned to Jody, smiled at me, and said, "I'm not sure who's the lucky one tonight-- Bobby or Kailynn." I just smiled and Jody smiled back at me. "Watch out Kailynn, you may get hooked!" she grinned.

I AM hooked, and nothing could change that. Bobby (and Jake) were lucky because they found a connection with each other, a place where nobody judges them, and lots of people who accept and love them no matter what. As for me, I found the way to form a human connection with these sweethearts who generally may not have had the opportunity to find someone outside of their family members who could show love and affection towards them.


This summer is undoubtedly changing my life for the better, and each week brings more smiles to my face. I can't wait to see what next week brings...

Week 2

I drove to Buddy Ball tonight anticipating meeting Ethan's dad, and hoping for another good night. After last week when I had such a great response, a friend of mine gave me advice, saying, "If you ever have a rough night with the group, remember that those guys need you even more when they are unhappy than when they are happy." While I didn't have a bad night per se, I was disappointed and touched all at once.

I arrived around quarter to 6 tonight, and I promptly went in to wait for Ethan. I sat on a chair by myself for about 10 minutes or so in the sweltering alley (the air conditioner no longer works) before someone recognized me. A young man in his late teens to early twenties walked in the door, and immediately ran over to me. He got a big smile on his face, and exclaimed, "Hi Kailynn!!!!" I quickly scrambled and remembered his name (John), and exchanged the usual pleasantries with him, both surprised and touched that he remembered my name, as we had just been bowling next to each other last week, nothing more. His mom called for him to come by her and he replied, "I was just talking to KAILYNN!" before running over. It made me smile.

As for the rest of the night, my smiles were a bit limited at first. I patiently waited for Ethan and his mom or dad, silently kicking myself for not getting their number so we could have some means of communication. I felt obligated to wait for them, as I had promised both Ethan and his mom that I would be his partner this week. Around 6:30, I finally gave up and walked towards the rest of the kids who were bowling. Unfortunately for me, while I had been waiting for Ethan, all the kids who needed Buddies were assigned some, and I was left without a buddy!

I'm not proud of it, but for a few minutes, I thought about leaving, as the evening seemed like a waste if I couldn't contribute in some way. I walked to the end of the alley after deciding to sit and watch, and I ended up near another family I had been bowling next to last week. We exchanged hellos, and after a bit, I noticed 2 tiny boys sitting on the chairs by themselves at the very last lane and looking a bit upset.

Naturally, I walked over and started talking to them. They both had some of those cheap stuffed animals from a claw machine, and I asked if they had won them. They excitedly told me about their claw machine adventures, and somehow I ended up sitting with them and keeping them company. (Non-objective question in regards to my next sentence: why did parents start naming their kids really weird names?!) I learned that the boys' names were Tito and Raina, and they were 6 years old. Raina had gone to Tito's for a playdate and sleepover, and Tito's mom forgot that Buddy Ball was tonight, so she dragged the boys along while Tito's older brother, Cody, "played bowling for his bowling team." The boys were basically neglected, and as Raina put it, they "weren't even allowed to play bowling!!" I asked the boys if I could hang out with them, and somehow, we got involved in an intense game of human bowling. (We used a stuffed pig they had won as a 'bowling ball' and tossed it at each other. If it hit you (the pin) in the stomach or legs, you had to fall down.) The boys started laughing and having a good time, and Tito's mom came running over, immediately scolding them for bothering me. (What is it with parents scolding their kids for bothering me??) I told her we were having a good time playing together, and that the family I normally Buddy with didn't show up so I didn't have anything else to do, as nobody else needed me. She started to thank me before running off mid sentence to check on Cody. The boys and I played for the next hour or so, making up different games with the pig and just having a good ol' time. At some point, I started calling Tito "Spiderman" because he started scaling a wall, and Raina "Flash" because he was so quick. They enjoyed their superhero names, and they called me "Super Girl" because, as Raina put it, "Wonder Woman is old and you're not, and you're not a boy so you can't be Superman." <3

I really got to see a different perspective of an Autistic household today. Tito was thriving on my attention, and he kept running up to me and tackling me in the playful way only a 6 year old can. At one point, he looked at me and said, "This is really weird, you playing and talking with me! Usually when we go to Cody's teams, everybody forgets about me and I get really, really bored. I'm having fun!!!" That completely broke my heart. I was telling my mom about it tonight when I got home, and she said, "You know, that's something not a lot of people would think about. I'm sure in their houses, the kid with problems gets most of the attention. Everyone probably forgets about the other kids."

At the end of the night, Tito's mom came back to collect the boys from me and thank me a lot. We were walking out to the parking lot, and the boys started walking with me, not her! Oops! After we all laughed and the boys went to their car, Raina gave me an adorable smile and gave me a huge hug, saying "It was nice to meet you!" Tito, not wanting to be outdone by his friend, hugged me as well and told me that he hoped to see me again next time.

While I may not have had as rewarding of an experience as last time, I know that I still made a difference. It kills me that siblings of those with disabilities may feel neglected and nobody realizes it. I hope that I can still keep making a difference.

Week 1

Tonight was beyond amazing. I cannot express in mere words how fulfilling and spectacular tonight was. So, I'll just walk you through the night instead.

When I 1st got to Edison Lanes, not only was I early (it was 5:34 according to my GPS, the bowling doesn't start until 6), but I was starting to have those butterflies you get on the first day of a new school where you know absolutely nobody and you're ridiculously early. At 5:45, after watching different groups of parents and their kids walking in, I decided to walk in as well, visibly alone.

As soon as I openned the door, I knew things would be okay.

A boy with Downs, who had to be about 17 or 18, came up to me, stuck out his hand to shake mine, and said, "Hi, I'm Jimmy. What's your name? Do you like to bowl? I LOVE to bowl!!" Then after I talked with him for a few minutes, he ran off to say hi to his friends, who had just walked in. I walked over to the sign in table, and after explaining that no, I had never been a buddy before, no, I didn't know anyone in Buddy Ball,and no, I didn't need service hours to get into college, that I was just there to help out of the goodness of my heart, a lady very much in disbelief gave me a t-shirt and told me to wait for her to pair me up with someone. I heard her talking to another lady, and both of them couldn't believe I just wanted to help. After 10 minutes or so, Ada (the lady) called me over and I was paired with Ethan.

Before she introduced herself, Ethan's mom introduced me to Ethan and said, "This is Ethan, he's severely Autistic, and he can't speak." We got talking, and I learned that her name was Terry and she has 3 boys, an older son Max who is 15, Ethan who is 13, and Sam, who is 4. She's a history teacher in Bridgewater, and they live about 25 minutes away from Edison. Ethan hasn't been to Buddy Ball for a few years.

I can't even express how amazing Ethan is. Although he cannot speak alot, he can say "yah" and grunt "uhhuh," although he doesn't speak often. Although Ethan is a loving child, he (usually) takes awhile to warm up to strangers. I helped him throughout the night, and after he would squat down and push the bowling ball down the lane, he would look up at me and wait for my reaction. I would tell him "Alright, way to go, high-five!" and he would give me a HUGE, beaming smile and give me a high-five before taking me by the hand and walking back to our seats. At one point, Ethan started taking my hand in his and placing his against mine, tracing our fingers. It was so sweet! For some reason, it calms him down/ relaxes him if you gently squeeze his elbows, and he started poking his elbows out at me to do that, something his Mom says he only lets family members do!

By the end of the night, I was in love. Ethan laid his head on my shoulder while we were sitting and started snuggling against me, something that amazed both me and his mom. She said that she was shocked at how quickly he warmed up to me, and then she gave me a shy smile before asking if I would be his buddy every week. I didn't even hesitate before saying yes! Ethan is such an amazing boy, I can tell he's going to influence my life for the better. :)

After Ethan and his mom left, I stuck around and helped another boy, an 8 year old named Bobby whom i had been bowling against with Ethan. He also had Autism, but a less severe case. With him, I basically high-fived him every time he went. By the way, he is the Tiger Woods of bowling! This kid got a spare or strike every time he got up, and he didn't even use the bumpers! It was insane. He didn't talk much, although he could. At the end of the night, however, i said bye to him and his mom, and he just kept walking. Then he turned around and shouted, "BYE KAILYNN!" as loud as could be. It was really awesome.

I can't express how amazed I was by this entire evening. I've never felt so fulfilled and good about myself. I think I've finally found a way to make a difference in the world, one child at a time...

Thank you, Dougie, wherever you are, for inspiring me to get involved without even knowing you did so. <3

Welcome!

I'm starting this blog to chronicle the adventures I'm about to embark in this summer as I work with my town's Buddy Ball league. Some may ask how I came to be involved with Buddy Ball, automatically assuming I'm doing it for a relative or loved one. The truth is, I don't have a loved one with a disability. I'm doing this for me, as a result of a 10 minute friendship that forever changed my life.

I have never found love before the 4th of July.

Have you ever met someone who inexplicably changed your life forever in just one magical night? I've been lucky enough to meet people throughout my life who have changed me forever, but generally after a bit of time. Last night, I met a boy who made me smile like nobody else could.

His name was Dougie, and he had Downs Syndrome.

While I've worked with little kids with Downs occasionally, and I had a regular customer at work who was challenged, I can't recall ever meeting anyone like Dougie. He is probably one of the most amazing individuals I'll ever meet.

The fireworks were scheduled to begin around 9:30. I had noticed Dougie and his 2 elderly parents sitting in front of us throughout the evening, as he was extremely happy and excited to be at the hs for fireworks. It melted my heart to see someone above the age of 5 as excited about fireworks as i was! At some point, his parents must've been talking or something, as Dougie got up and left without them noticing. I wouldn't have noticed myself, except that Dougie ended up next to me.

I was sitting on my blanket, reading "School of the Arts" for the umpteenth time while my family went to go get popcorn, something I'm no longer supposed to eat, when I felt someone sit next to me. I put down my book, expecting to see my brother. Instead, I saw Dougie.

"Hi. I'm... Dougie. What's your... name?" he asked. I smiled and replied, "Hi Dougie, I'm Kailynn." At that point, his parents came running over, starting to scold Dougie and apologizing profusely to me. I smiled and said that it was no problem, we were just talking. Dougie looked at his parents and said, "You're sitting... right there. Can I... stay... with Kailynn? For... a little bit?... Puh-lease?" His parents exchanged worried glances, and I told them if they didn't mind, he could sit with me on my blanket for a little bit. They agreed, and Dougie gave both them and me the biggest grin I've ever seen.

When his parents left, Dougie, being the ladies man that he is, held my hand. I smiled and asked, "Dougie, why do you want to sit with me?" He looked and me and matter-of-factly replied, "Because... you're pretty....and...nice. I want....to be your...friend." We held hands and talked for ten minutes or so before Dougie's mom told him it was time to come back and sit by his parents. I stood up with Dougie to say goodbye, and before I could even say a word, he gave me the biggest, tightest hug I've ever received. His hug was so full of love and tenderness-- I've never been more genuinely hugged! He then let go and gave me a huge, toothy smile, saying "Have fun...Kailynn!" I told him to do the same and he happily ran back to his parents, who smiled at me wholeheartedly before hugging their son and having him sit down with them.

My family came back at this point, and my brother jokingly asked, "So, Kailynn, who was that guy? You finally meet the perfect man for you?" I laughed it off at the time, but the truth is, I did.

Dougie was one of the most genuine, heartfelt individuals I will ever have the privilege of meeting, and even if we were just friends for one night, it is a night I will cherish for the rest of my life. The world needs more Dougies in it. <3

That, my friends, is the reason I'm getting involved with Buddy Ball. I start tonight, and I cannot remember being more excited for anything else.